Between fear of success and failure: how to respond to career challenges

You impressed the authorities, you are entrusted

with a more complex and responsible task. It would seem that it could be better. But many of us are grazing for this decisive moment for a career: they are afraid of both success and failure at the same time. Psychotherapist Marie Hartwell-Uocher explains how to cope with this indecision.

When Paul first came to me at the appointment, he looked discouraged and depressed. “Last year, immediately after receiving a diploma, I got an excellent job,” he said. – The boss was very pleased with me and soon instructed me to do a more difficult project. Since then I have just lost my peace and sleep. I can’t concentrate, I have become irritable, in general, I feel knocked out of the rut. I can’t understand what I’m afraid of success or failure. “.

Many are probably familiar with this situation. At 20 with a little, you are happy with excellent work, where you believed in you and made it possible to show what you are capable of. You have more responsibility and provide more independence, increase the budget for your project. And then it becomes … sickening.

At such turning points at the beginning of the career, it seems to many that they fell into the trap. On the one hand, success is afraid, on the other – failure.

It would seem how to be afraid of success? Elementary. In many companies, the successful implementation of one project entails work on the following – more complex and costly. Moreover, this often means that you will have to lead other employees. That is, the bar increases all the time. It turns out that as a reward for good work you get even more work and responsibility. Such a perspective can scare, especially if you are still very young.

But thoughts about failure are not more pleasing. Your capabilities do not expand, or maybe narrow, and the career stands still. In small companies, where everyone knows everything about everyone, everyone will be aware of your failure. It is sometimes difficult to live with this. And if you do not manage to cope with failure, she can undermine self -esteem and complicate relations with colleagues.

To get out of this trap, you need to reformulate the problem. In fact, you are not afraid of success or failure, you are afraid of risk. And this is quite reasonable. Any calls are related to the risk. No matter how much the forces are invested in one or another thing, this does not guarantee the best result. It is not surprising that you are nervous. But the good news is that the ability to manage risks is training.

What to do?

1. Appreciate the possibilities. Typically, companies carefully choose those who are worthy of advancement. If you are offered to take on more responsibility, then someone is more experienced than you, believes that you will cope with the task. Maybe you will need help. Nevertheless, a new opportunity is opened before you, which is at risk and you will receive support. Remind yourself of everything that you know and can, this is your support.
2. Do not rely only on yourself. This is one of the main rules at the beginning of the career. Do not risk self -esteem, doing everything alone. You still need to learn a lot, best of more experienced colleagues. Ask one of them to take you under the wing. Invite the authorities to break the set task into smaller ones, and then small malfunctions in work will not be perceived as a disaster. Let the leadership know about your doubts, they will be able to help and support.
3. Focus on the process. Remove the approach to the risk task. If each call in life you consider in the categories of victory or defeat and your self -esteem depends on this, of course, it will be sick. A healthier approach-to consider the risk as an opportunity to learn something and value the process no less than the result. Often the experience that you gained along the way can be so important that it outweighs the final failure.
4. Make lessons from failures. Surely you have already heard that failure can teach us no less than success. She shows what solutions or actions were ineffective. This is a valuable experience that you do not need to refuse.
5. Make lessons from success. Having won the victory, avoid the temptation to breathe a sigh of relief and throw out all things out of your head. Find the time to analyze what you have learned and what needs to be done otherwise the next time you are satisfied and what not. It is best to carry out such a analysis with a mentor.
6. Share success and experience. Team players love more and they are more successful than those who hold a mansion. Be generous and share success with others. You will strengthen the reputation not only as a cool specialist, but also as a team player. If you were not able to, help colleagues avoid the same mistakes, and they will perceive your failure as a useful lesson for everyone.

You can avoid new challenges and always stay in the comfort zone, but then do not expect personal and professional growth. Having decided to take risk, you can in any case increase self -confidence and competence. These two qualities are connected. The more competent you become, the more confidence is growing, and vice versa.